Well I'm a member of a country club
Country music is what I love
I drive an old Ford pick-up truck
I do my drink-in from a dixie cup
Yea I'm a bona-fide dancin' fool
I shoot a mighty mean game of pool
At any honky-tonk roadside pub
I'm a member of a country club
- Tritt Travis, Country Club.
A (mis) interpretation:
Unit type: Custom personal security robot.
Model type: ANKOU.
Designation: Johan.
Alias: Cherry Shadow Badass Bodyguard / The Undefeated.
Affiliation: The Sydow Famiglia / The Sheba's Hill Gang / The SXCLB.
Manufacturer: The Thruxton Industries.
Armour type: Luna titanium steel composite alloy.
Armour thickness: 40mm.
Height: 6 feet.
Weight: 350kg.
Power plant: Hydrogen fuel cell.
Armaments: "Mahrem" - power fist x 2; "Bakabana" - banana bomb x 1; multi-spectrum scanners; sensorium; A.I. system ver. X.
Abilities : "The Lion of Judah" - robot martial art; cybernetic enhanced physiology; invulnerability against magic/physical attack; techno arcane adept; master strategist and tactician.
Johan is a customised ANKOU robot, retainer of the Sydow Family, personal bodyguard of Eliza von Sydow aka Cherry Shadow and chief trainer of the New Andria's ANKOU Shadow Security Garrison and the Non Living Containment Squad (N.L.C.S.) special units. Johan's early background is shrouded in mystery. It is said that Baron Seth von Sydow discovered a destroyed and disabled ANKOU in the Northern Frontier bordering the Robot Islands. The Governor General of New Andria and lord of the local dhampir clan immediately formed a psychic link with the disused robot. Bringing it to the Thruxton Industries for repair and restoration, the Baron learnt that the ANKOU is a prototype Thruxton Industries Army for Hire series of robots for one of the Terra Colonial Administration's Navy covert military operations, the CAM Operations Support Detachment (C.O.S.D.) in the Malabar Front, Oceania.
The Baron secured the ANKOU from Thruxton Industries and made several modifications to its original specifications - more powerful, intelligent, and possess abilities, skills above an average ANKOU robot. The Guv'nor named it Johan after a retired, famous Dutch footballer of which the Baron is a fan, as well as inspired by the given masculine name of an obscure Sindo-Malay language, which means "champion". Johan's body is restored using Luna titanium steel composite alloy instead and prior to that, inscribed with arcane glyphs down to the molecular level to protect it against any form of magical or sorcerous assaults. Its ANKOU power fists are master-crafted and can unleashed several hundred times greater electromagnetic punches at super sonic velocity apart from generating an energy field around it that disrupts any solid matter it touches. Johan is programmed with a specific robot martial art, "The Lion of Judah", which is said to have incorporated both the Panzer Kunst and the Space Karate electromagnetic martial arts. A formidable, above expert level hand to hand combatant, Johan is more than capable of overwhelming and defeating any martial art experts in three moves, as it has the ability to continuously self learn and analyse an opponent's fighting style in order to retaliate accordingly, thus earning the name "The Undefeated". The Fighting JC once said that he considers Johan to be one of very few individuals which could match his own martial prowess.
Johan is also one of the founding members, along with Cherry Shadow, of the Sheba's Hill Gang (S.H.G.) active in sub-district 90210 of District 1, where the famous and wealthy, not to mention obnoxious, aristocratic members of New Andria's more affluent residence stays. The collective is equivalent to the District 12's prolific Adventure Kartel (AK). Both fights off any Zomb Hordes and rogue robots incursion into the city. The S.H.G. was nearly wiped out during the Battle of Five Points, including Johnson and Sanakhte. The group is currently on hiatus after the incident.
Johan is highly associated with the SXCLB faction. It occasionally carries out "special mission" on the orders from Elaine von Sydow aka Big Shadow. This explains the "Pinkerton" colour Johan has on him. Johan often carries a banana bomb during such mission, which he slowly peels and place on the body of its fallen enemies before detonation. Somehow Johan believes its targets, though it does not know them personally, should be entitled to a peaceful and happy death, and the banana bomb would gives them that. Usually a song from an obscure, children programme would be played along by Johan, with slight but vulgar variation to its lyrics, which goes like this, "Bananas, in pyjamas, are exploding on yer f***ed up face". Johan plays a pivotal role in bringing down the last bastion of the Zombots defence during the Robot Islands War.
Johan is described as a gentleman and speaks in an eloquent manner, but susceptible to using pretentious, pseudo-poetic words sprinkled with malapropisms while not training the Shadow Security and the N.L.C.S., of which is said to be akin to drill instructor Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from the movie, Full Metal Jacket. Johan is called behind its back by fellow ANKOU robots as "Leather Lungs" and "that pink a-hole". Tommy Mission dislikes Johan and derisively calls it "country club's Mrs. Malaprop" to "the bourgeois egg head" on every occasions they meet. Johan's view on the young mage is mutual, calling Tommy a "trust fund dependent hipster wanna be" to "cry baby". Johan has a taste for young men and doesn't hide his preference, openly engaging or picking up men in dive-bars or country clubs.
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Johan LSBBG (Am not really sure what the abbreviation stands for) is a random drop figure by 3A. I was fortunate enough (a first, really) to come across it and fend off several cart jacking attempts before hitting the jackpot. Lots of F5ing as usual, really when it comes to such situation. Just glad I didn't have had to pay through my nicotine tainted nostrils for one in the secondary market. Comes in a "carded" package. When it arrived, which was sometime ago, I was hesitating and not sure whether to open it. I was at 50/50 on this figure, may even wanna let it go when I saw it but changed my mind as I thought this would be the only ANKOU I should have, thus, self-rationalising with myself as usual, can now rest assured that any past, present and future ANKOU would no longer entice me to depart with my hard earn income. Also it goes well with the SXCLB ANKOU EX colour way scheme. Johan has since grown on me, with its 70s (?) style polo shirt and 90s (?) shorts which remind me curiously of what Pete Sampras worn during his heydays as tennis champion. Comes with, uh, a 1/6th banana. The official background has it that Johan is Lil Shadow bodyguard and trainer. There is a little confusion on my part as earlier version has a Zombot called Sanakhte as Cherry Shadow's bodyguard.
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